Wufei's Discovery
by wufei hater
Summary: Ok, this fic is to make fun of old poorly translated movies/anime. I point out when the transitions take place between real time and out of sync style. Have fun. Oh yeah two of my freinds are also in this.


Okay, I wrote this on 4-10-1901 and I was recalling everything that happened today. Mainly Alayna, (aka the ANGRY ONE, ALAYNATOR the ANGRY or Alayna-chan) was sick and not in school. Thus, I avoided her beatings for two days. = - ) And the fact that I'm still getting harmed by someone who will go name less (SHE WAS HIGH ON VANILLA) is still bringing pain my way (THE SWELLING IS GOING DOWN. THANKS FOR ASKING!) Inspired me to write this story.  
  
  
  
Wufei's Discovery  
  
Please try to think of this story from here on out as one of those old seventies Chinese fighting movies. Yunno, where people's lips move and different sound come out that does not really corolate with what they're saying. Enjoy!  
  
A peaceful day in the land of Gundam wing. All the G-boys were going about their daily routine. Heero was cleaning his gun. Trowa was sitting in a corner staring at the wallpaper going "…". Duo and Quatre were in the back room of the house playing Gauntlet legends with Ren and Alayna. And Wufei was outside doing a bunch of "chop chop" motions with his hands like he was practicing for something.  
  
"No fair! That food was mine!" Alayna yelled at Duo.  
  
"I WAS ABOUT TO DIE YOU'VE GOT MORE HEALTH THAN ANYONE ELSE!" Duo yelled back.  
  
"I know, but I'm hungry." Alayna whined.  
  
"Would you two stop arguing! This is not in accordance with total pacifism. And I don't think this game is very nice either!" Quatre said.  
  
"Would you shut up! Geez, you've got no problem blowing up colonies but play one fun video game and you complain like there's no tomorrow!" Ren yelled at Quatre.  
  
"I just don't see how this is going to get us to space! EVERY ONE OF US!" Quatre said, mimicking his lines from days gone by.  
  
"OH SHUT UP!" Duo, Alayna, and Ren all yelled at once.  
  
"You didn't look cool then and you sure don't now!" Ren yelled.  
  
"You can't say that to him!" Duo screamed.  
  
"And why not!" Alayna roared.  
  
"Because that's what I do!" Duo retorted.  
  
All of the sudden, the house was filled with sounds like gunshots. Followed by Heero yelling downstairs "WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE!" Several moments later, Heero appeared in the doorway looking down at the crowd that was again squabbling over nothing. Heero fired several shots into the tv. Everyone shut up and kind of looked at him.  
  
"YOU BITCH! WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SAVE!" Ren yelled. Surprising everyone that she'd be stupid enough to argue with some who just shot a tv.  
  
"Well, uh." Heero really didn't expect anyone to argue with him. And he'd only loaded two shots, and he'd used them both on the tv.  
  
Before any more arguing could be done. Trowa walked in.  
  
"…" Trowa said.  
  
"Oh get down off your high horse and stop calling us idiots!" Ren yelled at Trowa.  
  
This spawned even more bickering and arguing that went on and became even more incomprehensible.  
  
"Alright, 'screw you guys I'm going home'" Alayna said and put on her blue hat, with the yellow puffy thing on top, and red coat and waddled out.  
  
"See what you made her do!" And this leading to even more arguing.  
  
* * *  
  
In the mean time, Wufei was still outside trying to do gay karate stuff. "Onna's and Baka's! The whole lot of them! Errgh they make me so mad. How can I practice this new style with them jabbering like that! AHHHHHHH!" And with that, he slashed through the air more violently than anyone ever had before.  
  
~Please try to think of this story from here on out as one of those old seventies Chinese fighting movies. Yunno, where people's lips move and different sound come out that does not really corolate with what they're saying. Enjoy!~  
  
"What, what is this strange ability that I now possess, meaning that I didn't possess it before and now I do. But what is it? Yes I must learn it's full power and rule the world. I will defend my family honor and defeat those who stand in my way, yes! I will rule the world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And with that Wufei tipped his head back and laughed maniacally, laughing at the different rate his mouth was going.  
  
He then started to fly through the air, from a stand still, and did a flying kick through the back of the house where all characters had been arguing. Now they just stared in shock.  
  
"I have come to revive the honor of my family name, that is to say it was lost, now I will reclaim it now, not in five minutes, not in five years, but exactly right… now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wufei laughed again maniacally, still not in sync with his lips.  
  
"What? No! This cannot happen! I will not allow this to happen! For my family honor I will defeat you in the name of the United states, that is to say my home country, that is to say the place I was born, I will defend the honor there of! For I am Shiningami! Than is to say the lord of Death! Or Grim Reaper. For I am cool! Yes! I am cool! Mwahahahahahaha!" Duo laughed in a nasaly voice.  
  
"Bring it on for now I will do battle with you! I will defend my family honor with my new technique. That is to say, a technique that has never been used before. And certainly never seen by any of you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wufei laughed.  
  
Wufei ran at Duo, he moved with an unseen speed never used before. As Duo started to raise his arms in defense, Wufei jumped up on his arms and ran over Duo's head and down his back, knocking Duo to the floor. Duo jumped back up and wiped some blood from his mouth. Duo raised his arms and a leg into the praying mantis stance.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You stupid American! It's supposed to be the other foot that goes into the air! HAHAHAHAHA! This will be an easy win, and now even worthy of my family's attention." Wufei said evilly and chuckled.  
  
As Duo looked down at his feet, Wufei took advantage of the distraction he gave Duo. He walked over to Duo with his arm raised into the new stance he had discovered. (His right arm extended outward and at ninety degrees up with his hand in the chop-chop fashion). And hit Duo on top of the head. Duo made several gasping sounds then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell over. The remaining bystanders gasped, but Wufei just laughed evilly, and out of sync with his mouth.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Shiningami will now join those he has vanquished. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I enjoy being evil. That is to say, I like beating people down. Furthermore, I like hitting Duo! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wufei said, his voice becoming more evil but no more in sync.  
  
"HAHAHAHA! Now I will go on to rule the world! Yes! That is to say what I did to Duo, I will to do all who oppose me! And when I say that I mean I will become Emperor of the world! NO! The Universe! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wufei said and flew, again doing a flying kick while getting no head start, and landed on the street. He then flew again farther down the street out of sight.  
  
~The End~  
  
Ok believe me when I say I would love to keep writing this but it's ¼ of 10 and I've got work to do. Fortunatly for all interested parties this is a lot more fun to write then "The Second Part" so this will get more to it sooner, but I'm just to plain tired. In case you couldn't tell, with all that worthless dialogue, I was really ripping on anime. They talk forever but do NOTHING! That's what I'm going for here. It's just pure EVIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 


End file.
